Pieces of a Whole

by: Betsy J. Bennett

CHAPTER 9

It was late when he got back, the clinic was closed, the street deserted. A feral cat ran between his feet, offering an inhuman screech before disappearing down a dark alley. He shivered, the night had grown cold. At least the cat hadn’t been black… He had never been superstitious before, but life on the run had him questioning all kinds of beliefs.

He pushed his key into the lock then cursed, realizing he should have stopped and bought dinner. This meeting would be short, then he suspected he was heading back to his miserable room where he could smoke and count the hours until he could return to work cleaning the storeroom. When he got there he found Olivia talking with the new parents through an interpreter, a cousin whose English was only slightly better than her Spanish, which was non-existent. The floor of the exam room was stacked with baby clothes and diapers, a small cradle and used toys, including a wooden rocking horse, whose nose looked like it had been chewed off. He suspected that had not been done by a puppy. Dogs generally started at the legs. Some previous toddler had used the rocking horse as a chew toy.

The abundance pleased him. Apparently word had gone out that there was a family in the neighborhood who had a new baby and had nothing else. These were poor people, but he had seen such generosity many times over the past few years.

“There’s food,” Olivia said, looking up at him, as if she expected him back.

“Great, I’m starved.”

“It’s Mexican. It’s good, but takes some getting used to.”

“I’m used to it.” While he ate tostados, Richard spoke with the new family, admired their sleeping son, answered the few questions they had.

“They’re fine now,” Olivia said. “Come walk with me.”
“I was going to get to the charting.”

“I know. That can wait a minute.”

“Sure.” After promising the young family he’d return in a few minutes, he followed Olivia to her office. He hadn’t gotten a chance to clean in here, and it needed it. He knew from watching her work she was not messy, just overwhelmed. She would rather see patients than clean her own work space and things dropped had a habit of staying dropped until she needed them again.

“I’ll clean in here when I finish with the utility room,” Richard said, “unless you don’t want me touching your stuff.”

“What? Oh, leave this. It’s familiar.”

“I don’t see how anyone can work like this.”

“That’s not what I want to talk about.”

“Oh?”

“I don’t want you working as a janitor or an orderly, whatever you were, anymore.”

He let her statement draw blood for a long moment before he said, “I’ll get my things. I’ll be out of here in two minutes. And Dr. Olivetti, I know you didn’t check her, but that baby was breech. There was no way she could have delivered it naturally.”

“No, Richard, you didn’t let me finish. I don’t need an orderly. I need another doctor. I know you think you’ve lost your license, but I know it was through nothing you did. There is no shadow at all on your abilities.”

“I can’t work as a doctor.” He held his hands out, they were steady, but he had expected them to shake.

“You can, and I’d like you to. We’ll find some way to get you legal but until then I need your help. I can’t pay you like you should be paid. Frankly, I’m not getting paid like I should be. I can only offer you the same salary, to keep the books nice.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“I’d say I only need your help when the waiting room is full, but as you’ve seen for yourself, the waiting room is always full. I need help. I’ll write to Indiana, see if we can’t get your license reinstated.”

“Good luck with that.”

“Then we’ll see what Michigan thinks. Are you willing?”

“Yes.”

“Any questions you have, you come to me. And, Richard, I want you to know that any questions I have, I’ll come to you. There’s still an occasional symptom that throws me, and I could use you for that alone.”

“I’d be glad to.”

“Great. I’m glad we got that settled. I know the patients will have no trouble accepting you as a doctor. After Billy and this new baby, hell even throwing the puppies into the mix, everybody is on your side. By the way, Marta’s going to name her son Ricardo, did you know that?”

His answer was to roll his eyes.

“So tell me about the kid.”

“The kid? About five pounds I guess, maybe an ounce or two more. Twenty inches? From what I got from a quick exam, he’s healthy. I didn’t have a stethoscope, but from what I could tell his heart is great. He’d already wet a diaper before I left, so I don’t have any worries about his kidneys. Ten fingers, ten toes, good skin color, eyes clear.”

“Not that kid.”

“Who? Oh, Phil?”

“Yes. I saw you when you first noticed him. You looked terrified. You got all white like all the blood had been drained from your body. I would have loved to have taken your BP, just as an academic exercise you understand. So, Phil is Gerard’s kid?”

“Yes. He and I had an…incident…when I was wanted.”

“That certainly never made the newspapers.”

“A fact that I am eternally grateful for. Although apparently it will be in Decker’s column this Friday. That’s what Phil came to say.”

“So, is there any more to the story?”

He looked down, studied the corners of her messy office, but then pulled in a deep breath and met her gaze. He pulled a rumbled envelope from his back pocket and handed it to her.

“I always believed in your innocence. Phillip Gerard Jr.”

“This means something to you? Yes, it must if you carry it with you wherever you go.”

He pulled a cigarette out, took the time to light it, wondered, exactly as she mentioned, as a purely academic exercise what his blood pressure was doing at that moment. Dr. Olivetti didn’t smoke, but she looked around her disaster of an office until she found a plate he could use as an ashtray.

“This means everything to me. After the exoneration, I fell apart. I didn’t know who I was or what I was. I had no home, no career, and I only knew how to be scared and as I hit rock bottom, Lieutenant Gerard handed this to me.”

She carefully put the letter back in the envelope and handed it to him. “So, you and Phil had an incident.” There was no need to make it a question.
“Oh, yes.”

“And there’s a story?”

He tapped the ash off the end of the cigarette a stalling action both recognized. “It’s not my finest moment, and you just handed me my dream job, one I’ll add, I’m sure I don’t deserve, and now you want the story?”

“Only if you want to share it.”

“You can read about it Friday. If there’s a problem, trust me, I can be outta here without a minute’s notice.”

“Why don’t we wait until we see what the article says before you start packing? We’re going to have to break you of your inclination to run, Dr. Kimble.”

“I am not a doctor.”

“You’re the only one who believes that.”

“Phil is on the debate team. Seems he’s become a staunch supporter that the death penalty should be revoked. Of course that’s not what they were debating this year, but that’s what got him involved. Oh, and his team came in third.”

Olivia smiled. “I bet his father is proud of him.”

“Phil wanted to tell me about the article. He didn’t want me blindsided. He gave the story to Decker, who is going to print it, so as far as the ugly details are concerned, there is not much sense in trying to hide what happened. In return, Mike told him where I am. It’s not that I’m hiding any longer, but really, I would rather not have faced Phil.”

“This awful thing you did, did Phil come to accuse you of a crime?”

“No. Exactly the opposite. For some reason, Phil doesn’t remember the event exactly the way I do. His perspective is different, although I don’t know why.”

He smoked for a second longer, taking the time to access the words he would need to bare his soul. “He’s my nightmare.”

“What? That clean, well dressed kid?”

“Trust me, every time I have a nightmare, and it’s a rather regular occurrence, Gerard is always in them, and the worst ones have Phil in them too.”

“The boy believes in your innocence.”

“Try telling that to my subconscious. After—“ he started, then cleared his throat and attacked the problem from another point. “When I started running, I didn’t think it through. With the train wreck, an opportunity presented itself and I took advantage. I wanted to live. That was my only thought. I want to live. After that, came the other two: that I wanted to find the one-armed man, and I needed to clear my name. What I’m trying to say was in many ways I was unprepared for life on the run. I didn’t know how much it would change me.”

“Change you?”

“I never would have considered stealing a car or using my fists against another person. I never would have run from problems. I was used to facing whatever came, and Dr. Olivetti, Helen and I had been living the good life. We had everything an American couple could want, well, except a baby, but I’d like to think we would have found a way around that. And to survive, I kidnapped Phil Gerard.”

“Surely you’re—“

“I had no idea what I would do in desperation. That’s no excuse. I’m not making an excuse. I kidnapped a child who had been on vacation with his father and got caught by a man convicted of murder who was due to be executed for his crime. I kept him against his will. I stopped him when he tried to signal a helicopter pilot searching for me, and I controlled him when a forest ranger appeared. To keep myself safe. I could have let him go, but I knew if I did, I would be captured. Lieutenant Gerard was there, directing the manhunt, and he had lawmen from three counties searching for me.”

“Ok.”

“I stole a car. Gerard was only feet away from me at the time, and yes, he was shooting, but that car was the only way off the mountain, and I took it. What I didn’t know was Phil had hidden himself in the car. The lieutenant didn’t know either, at least not at first. Phil recognized me. How could he not? I was his father’s obsession. I didn’t hurt him. Whatever you think, he wasn’t hurt. Gerard told me Phil used the experience as bragging rights at school. I didn’t know that until a few months ago, and I still don’t really believe it, but back then, on the run, I didn’t have time to think all my actions through. As I said, I thought only of myself, of living, or converse, what would happen if I were sent back to Michigan City where all the Indiana executions take place. If Gerard Sr. caught me, my life would have been measured in days, or perhaps hours. And in case you think the governor would pardon me, something my lawyer hoped for, it never would have happened.

“After, when Phil was safely with his father and I escaped the road blocks, I thought long and hard about what I would do to survive. Where was the line? What was I willing to do? Is it alright to kidnap a child if it meant I could live another day? Was it ok to put Phil and his parents through hell wondering what depravity Richard Kimble was capable of, in order to escape? Where did desperation fit into my life as I affected other people I came across?”

“He doesn’t blame you.”

“No. I don’t know why. A miracle, I guess, one I don’t deserve. After my exoneration, and I was free from the murder charge, Gerard came to see me. I was certain he would arrest me for kidnapping. There were other things I did that were illegal. I want you to know that, but the one that bothers me the most was the kidnapping.”

“And instead of arresting you, Lieutenant Gerard handed you that letter.”

“Yes. That was the first time I realized I could survive as a free man.”

Link to Chapter 10